District Weddings

Today, we are resuming our weekly schedule with Bride Blogger Kimberly‘s touching post about how to incorporate those who you have lost into your big day…far more important than any hotel block, calligraphy or rental china…we always love a bit of perspective here at District Weddings…

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I received a phone call last week that no one ever wants to receive– a call about a death of a family member.  My grandmother who had been ill for some time, died last Sunday.  Everything stopped.  The tone had changed in my life – from planning my wedding and the rest of my life to supporting my Mom during one of the most difficult periods in her life.

Now back from the funeral and less than 3 months till wedding day, I have no choice but to continue where I left off with the planning before her death.  However, things are very different – my focus has shifted.  It’s now more critical than ever to make sure I honor my grandmother, a woman that played such an important part in my life.

While honor her legacy and others important to us that have died, I still have to remember that it is a wedding and to celebrate accordingly.  If I don’t mention her passing, it seems as if it never happened – mentioning her too frequently, I bring the tone of the day down.  What’s the correct balance?  How do I best honor those who have passed on while still acknowledging our wedding day?

I did a bit of research and found that it won’t be as hard as I thought to honor those we love.  The easiest and most appropriate place will be during the ceremony.  I’ve chosen our wedding readings that remind me most of her character.  My mother’s best friend will honor her memory by performing that reading at my wedding.

Another easy and appropriate place within your ceremony where you can honor loved ones is during the general prayers section of a wedding.  I plan to have a very close friend of the family offer the “prayer of the faithful” reading, and there is where all of our immediate family and close friends who have died will have their names read aloud.  This gives everyone the opportunity to remember and honor those that can’t be with us in body, but are with us in spirit.

Another element I want to do is to incorporate my grandmother’s personal effects in my wedding ensemble, specifically her bible and rosary.  I know that I will carry her bible with me down the aisle as I want to have her close to me on wedding day. I am going to ask Shawn to somehow incorporate her rosary within my bouquet.  Another thing that I am definitely going to do is to also have her make my mom’s bouquet with her favorite flowers, pink roses.

I would love to hear from District Wedding readers about other ways I can honor my grandmother’s memory on my wedding day.  There is an Italian Proverb that says, “Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”  I am so grateful for my grandmother and promise that on this and every day, she will never be far from my heart.  Rest in Peace Grandma Odessa, I love you!