During this time of year, many spring brides are sending out their invitations while fall brides are sending out their save the dates! Wording your stationery can be a challenge with so many rules and small discretionary details that change depending on the wedding time, formality, and religion. And, addressing is tricky, too – from children to widows, there are specific rules.
When I am stuck, I always turn to Crane’s Wedding Blue Book. It has answers to almost any question you could ever have!
Has anyone hit any road blocks with stationery etiquette recently? Let me know if you have questions and I can help!
Is it appropriate to put “and guest” on a save-the-date or should you only list people by name?
I don’t know what’s “appropriate,” but my fiance and I just got a save the date for his cousin’s wedding and it was addressed to “[his name] + guest.” Granted, I have yet to meet his cousin, but was personally offended that she didn’t put my name on there. So from personal experience, if they are engaged or married, or have a serious significant other, put their name. If you have no idea who they may bring, I think “guest” will suffice.
That makes sense. I guess my question was more if you don’t know who they will bring should you just leave off “and guest” and leave them guessing if they have a plus one until they get the actual invitation?
Oh… my… goodness, let me second the recommendation for Crane’s. I have loved their papers for what feels like forever, and as I began planning my invitations, I was impressed with how much material — from etiquette to how-tos — they make available online for free! Their etiquette book is a treasure, for weddings and beyond.
P.S. To the question above, I did not put “and Guest” on save-the-dates when the invitee was single and would be bringing a date. In those cases, we put the “and Guest” designation on the invitation only. However, for couples who have been dating exclusively for 3+ months, and certainly for engaged couples, I put both names on both the save-the-date and the invitation. If an engaged couple did not live together, I sent a save-the-date to each, just for fun, and a formal invitation to the one I knew better. The fiance(e) was, and should be, named on the formal invitation.
I am wondering how to handle RSVP’s for invitations to families that may have kids and extended family living with them. We are doing an Adults only wedding and have a lot of family who is used to bringing children with them to weddings so we don’t want to say “Wilson family” persay but know a lot of people who’s parents live with them and would be invited as well. How do we go about addressing the invitations and sending RSVP cards with meal choices on them?
Hi All – We will be answering your questions in the upcoming etiquette series by our Editorial Assistant Emily! Check back in the coming Fridays for the scoop! Thanks!!